2 B's or not 2 B's

I have to credit Bob on my title... it made me laugh!!

This week, I saw Dr. Sepulveda on Monday for my final fill up.  I feel like I'm going to the gas station!  I went in to see him not knowing if I was gonna let him add any more saline to my already uncomfortable breasts.  We had to discuss the radiation factor now.  When last we met, the Tumor Board was inconclusive.  But with all the other info gathered since then, the recommendations for having radiation far out weighed those made for not having it.  Dr. Sepulveda wants to do the radiation and then wait 6 months before the placement of the gel implants.  That's the timeline.

6 months!!! Monday morning, the thought of leaving these saline expanders in for 6 months would make my skin crawl.  But, after meeting with Dr. Sepulveda, I mentally felt better and soon I would physically too. 

He assured me that my breasts with the expanders would not feel this way for much longer.  He always told me it would be 4-6 weeks for recovery and this is week 4.  Not like I wouldn't know they were there or anything, I would always feel them.  I would just start to get used to them.  He also stressed that I should go back to dance normally, run, whatever activity I would do before.  My range of motion is almost fully back and the action would help the muscles stretch and heal faster. 

He also added more saline.... I'm talking away with him about feeling tired and uncomfortable and not wanting any more, blah, blah and Dr. S has already asked his assistant Mary for a syringe filled with saline.  Before I know it, he's hitting the port with the syringe and pricking my skin!  He gives me a wry grin saying he has to make them 'even' ... He does the other while talking with Bob and I have to remind him to pay attention because he's missing the port and pricking me 2 and 3 times!  He laughs and sits back and admires his work... yup, he's a Plastic Surgeon alright!  I've become Dr. Frankenstein's monster!

I asked what size do you think I am??? He scrunched his face and looked sideways at my chest and with his accent said 'a B, maybe a large B' then grinned and rolled his eyes... yeah right.  I know how much saline is in each - the right has 475cc and the left has 450cc.  They are different because of the extensiveness of the surgery on the right side to rid it of cancer - the left wasn't as radical.  He's stretching them beyond the final size so when the gel implants are put in there they'll move and simulate a natural breast.  I went home and looked up what 475cc's would be considered on the internet.... ummm yeah no B in any description...C or D.  I think I'm a small C at this point - I'll call them a B+!  I'm getting used to them.  I just may have to shop for some new clothes if they stay this way!

I left there with my chest feeling tight all over again.  He told me it would feel 'softer' with in 48 hours.  Softer is a relative term here... they did feel better by the next day, but by no means soft!  He talked to me about not being afraid to use the Ambien if I need it - that helped me mentally not feel like I was overly dependent on it.  The permission to dance??? Oh yeah - I did dance more the next day but still not where I was before I started  I have lost so much strength that I have alot of catching up to do.  I'll hit the track this weekend - walk/run for a few miles.  All part of the plan for recovery.

Update - I am feeling better.  A little trouble sleeping still, but better.  I felt great at the studio on Tuesday and working every day on a fulltime schedule isn't wiping me out any more.  My hair is coming in, eyebrows and lashes are stubble and I actually had to shave my legs this week!!! I was hoping that chore would be over, but I'll take it if it means I'm getting back to normal!!!