It's been a year... a year since a distraught Bob walked through the door of the studio to tell me the news. A year since we heard the words and saw the pictures. A year since we told the kids. A year since every thing changed.
Memories come flooding back of those days. When I could only think of the people I had to tell and what I had to do next. Scheduling appointments was a priority and trying to figure out how to fix it.
I sat at my desk today and the messages came in marking the day from my family and friends. Emails, tweets, texts, facebook are the reminders of the people I love and the connections I've made over this year.
I was happy. I was sad. But I do know how lucky I am.
Showing posts with label Cancer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cancer. Show all posts
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Monday, November 21, 2011
Finding Wonderland
I haven't talked much about it lately, but the last 3 months of my life have been filled with preparations for this year's annual dance recital at Yanarella School of Dance.
If I said it was a lot of work, I'd be lying! It was a ridiculously huge amount of work!!! I spent most Sundays teaching and rehearsing for 10 or 12 hours. I've been teaching for 28 years now
My labor of love begins with auditions for the story ballet back in August. I prepare several pieces that I teach in a 2 hour time frame. The girls learn as much as I can produce and decide which roles they will be auditioning for. I invite a few teachers in to watch with me and judge and within 4 hours I've filled all the roles.
Right after Labor Day I start having these marathon rehearsals. I take time with my leads choreographing and teaching their parts - directing them. After a few weeks, we add the other classes to the mix to create the balance of the story. Each class usually gets a special part and of course a coordinated bow.
This year, my story ballet was Alice in Wonderland. As I described earlier in this blog, I went to see Wonderland on Broadway with the intention of using it for my ballet and it didn't disappoint. The score is so clever and colorful! I took the score and cut it all up to fit my storyline and started to put together dances. We had about 8 of these long rehearsals - some with groups up to 70 dancers. It was long and arduous and fun and exciting all at the same time.
My regular classes were moving along but not as quickly and seamlessly as I'd like. I teach a group of intermediate 12 year olds and their classes were doing well. They can always use more work, but I was very happy with their progress. Workshop was working on 3 dances - Bless Our Show, Orange Colored Sky and another song.
The other song... Late in the game, I changed the song to I'm Gonna Love You Through It - a Martina McBride song about the breast cancer experience. Bob loved the song and felt it was very powerful. I didn't change the song without clearing it with my Workshop class - everything we do is a team effort. They loved the concept and the message.
So, I began to shift my focus to this new song. Each week I would come to class with new choreography but nothing seemed to work. I was really distraught about it. I approached my former student Juliane for some help from long distance but it was too difficult to work together. I just kept pushing through fixing, reviewing, adding - whatever it took. We were almost there when I heard a different version of the song at the Silhouette of a Woman Fashion Show. This was one week before the stage rehearsal!!! I had to add a couple of steps in the middle and a whole new ending. I called an emergency meeting after one of the 10 rehearsals to work it out... and it worked!
I wanted it close to finished for rehearsal so we could get the audience to buy into our story. We wore our costumes to get the full effect. I had recorded my voice to begin the song - 'My experience began 10 days after last year's recital...' it was the first time the class had heard it and it was haunting. We all immediately started to cry but it created the spark we needed. The dance worked ... it just gelled into something beyond what we had even intended. Jackie described it as 'Organic' - perfect description. We finished telling our story and as we all hugged and wiped away our tears, I looked into the audience and they were doing the same. They got it... we conveyed our message. I called it 'Experience of a Lifetime'. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMfZPgYsx14
This year's dance recital was a complete success! The last song our story ballet was called Finding Wonderland and the are amazingly ironic. I believe the journey over this past year allowed me to find my Wonderland.
Finding Wonderland
We move to fast
We miss so much
We seldom see all the miracles in front of us
A warm embrace
A human touch
And so it goes
I race around
Search high and low for a truth I used to know
When there was magic to be found
(Chorus)
Cause finding wonderland
Is taking time to see
The child within has always been there smiling back at me
So when I close my eyes I just remember and I cant hale finding wonderland
Its not to late
Here in my prime hearts can un-break in the story's nick of time
A happy ending
A perfect rhyme
(Chorus)
Cause finding wonderland is finding who you are
The child with in has always been there like a shining star
So when i close my eyes I see forever and I keep on finding wonderland
Ordinary magic happens every single day
Wonderland is never far away
Cause finding wonderland is going home again
To feel the love another gives and giving back and then
If you should lose your way reach out for someones hand and you'll be finding wonderland
Youll be finding Wonderland
If I said it was a lot of work, I'd be lying! It was a ridiculously huge amount of work!!! I spent most Sundays teaching and rehearsing for 10 or 12 hours. I've been teaching for 28 years now
My labor of love begins with auditions for the story ballet back in August. I prepare several pieces that I teach in a 2 hour time frame. The girls learn as much as I can produce and decide which roles they will be auditioning for. I invite a few teachers in to watch with me and judge and within 4 hours I've filled all the roles.
Right after Labor Day I start having these marathon rehearsals. I take time with my leads choreographing and teaching their parts - directing them. After a few weeks, we add the other classes to the mix to create the balance of the story. Each class usually gets a special part and of course a coordinated bow.
This year, my story ballet was Alice in Wonderland. As I described earlier in this blog, I went to see Wonderland on Broadway with the intention of using it for my ballet and it didn't disappoint. The score is so clever and colorful! I took the score and cut it all up to fit my storyline and started to put together dances. We had about 8 of these long rehearsals - some with groups up to 70 dancers. It was long and arduous and fun and exciting all at the same time.
My regular classes were moving along but not as quickly and seamlessly as I'd like. I teach a group of intermediate 12 year olds and their classes were doing well. They can always use more work, but I was very happy with their progress. Workshop was working on 3 dances - Bless Our Show, Orange Colored Sky and another song.
The other song... Late in the game, I changed the song to I'm Gonna Love You Through It - a Martina McBride song about the breast cancer experience. Bob loved the song and felt it was very powerful. I didn't change the song without clearing it with my Workshop class - everything we do is a team effort. They loved the concept and the message.
So, I began to shift my focus to this new song. Each week I would come to class with new choreography but nothing seemed to work. I was really distraught about it. I approached my former student Juliane for some help from long distance but it was too difficult to work together. I just kept pushing through fixing, reviewing, adding - whatever it took. We were almost there when I heard a different version of the song at the Silhouette of a Woman Fashion Show. This was one week before the stage rehearsal!!! I had to add a couple of steps in the middle and a whole new ending. I called an emergency meeting after one of the 10 rehearsals to work it out... and it worked!
I wanted it close to finished for rehearsal so we could get the audience to buy into our story. We wore our costumes to get the full effect. I had recorded my voice to begin the song - 'My experience began 10 days after last year's recital...' it was the first time the class had heard it and it was haunting. We all immediately started to cry but it created the spark we needed. The dance worked ... it just gelled into something beyond what we had even intended. Jackie described it as 'Organic' - perfect description. We finished telling our story and as we all hugged and wiped away our tears, I looked into the audience and they were doing the same. They got it... we conveyed our message. I called it 'Experience of a Lifetime'. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMfZPgYsx14
This year's dance recital was a complete success! The last song our story ballet was called Finding Wonderland and the are amazingly ironic. I believe the journey over this past year allowed me to find my Wonderland.
Finding Wonderland
We move to fast
We miss so much
We seldom see all the miracles in front of us
A warm embrace
A human touch
And so it goes
I race around
Search high and low for a truth I used to know
When there was magic to be found
(Chorus)
Cause finding wonderland
Is taking time to see
The child within has always been there smiling back at me
So when I close my eyes I just remember and I cant hale finding wonderland
Its not to late
Here in my prime hearts can un-break in the story's nick of time
A happy ending
A perfect rhyme
(Chorus)
Cause finding wonderland is finding who you are
The child with in has always been there like a shining star
So when i close my eyes I see forever and I keep on finding wonderland
Ordinary magic happens every single day
Wonderland is never far away
Cause finding wonderland is going home again
To feel the love another gives and giving back and then
If you should lose your way reach out for someones hand and you'll be finding wonderland
Youll be finding Wonderland
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Figuring it all out..
Today I took just the eMend to stop the nausea and THAT is what is causing me to feel lightheaded and woozy! That's good to know. So, if this post makes NO sense, you all know why! By late yesterday afternoon/evening I was feeling a bit clearer headed. I was able to get some work done for a client during the night. Just have to shift my hours a bit. I'm feeling a little like my vampire friend Lauren! Just kidding...
Neulasta injection came at the end of the day yesterday. That is to increase my white blood cell count while the Chemo drugs are killing off the cancer cells and some of the good white blood cells. Just trying to get as many cells in me as possible before next week when the big white blood cell drop happens... Doctor warned me of symptoms of arthritis while it churns and my knees are what's bothering me more than anything today. Otherwise, I'm happy to be moving forward. I know it's a long road ahead, but there is an 'end' to look forward to.
Alex and Melissa are here cooking for me. Although I know it's not, it feels like it's just for me! I am getting more and more spoiled... Sarah will be home again in no time and will be here for a few weeks. More spoilage! And of course, there's Bob. The ever-present, ever-optimistic, ever-attentive Bob. Love him.
Tomorrow, Alex and I are going to Acupuncture. His idea. We are seeing one of my former students from Yanarella! I love that Elisa is going to help me ease my pain and help me through all this. More on that tomorrow...
Neulasta injection came at the end of the day yesterday. That is to increase my white blood cell count while the Chemo drugs are killing off the cancer cells and some of the good white blood cells. Just trying to get as many cells in me as possible before next week when the big white blood cell drop happens... Doctor warned me of symptoms of arthritis while it churns and my knees are what's bothering me more than anything today. Otherwise, I'm happy to be moving forward. I know it's a long road ahead, but there is an 'end' to look forward to.
Alex and Melissa are here cooking for me. Although I know it's not, it feels like it's just for me! I am getting more and more spoiled... Sarah will be home again in no time and will be here for a few weeks. More spoilage! And of course, there's Bob. The ever-present, ever-optimistic, ever-attentive Bob. Love him.
Tomorrow, Alex and I are going to Acupuncture. His idea. We are seeing one of my former students from Yanarella! I love that Elisa is going to help me ease my pain and help me through all this. More on that tomorrow...
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